The Great Bacon Debate

Earlier last year, there was a flurry of stories indicating that there will be a bacon shortage in our near future.  This naturally caused a lot of people to start panicking...some started hoarding bacon, others were lamenting the upcoming shortage, yet no one was actively saying, "I should quit eating bacon so when the shortage does happen, I won't be emotionally traumatized by being forced to quit eating bacon cold turkey."  Because really, who wants to consciously stop eating bacon when you've been enjoying it for years?

My uncle seems to have taken a "Lean In" approach to this.  He has been on the quest for America's best tasting bacon.  My husband and I had the honor of sampling what may have been "The Final Four."  Here is what happened.

First things first - I wanted to approach this as closely to a science experiment as humanly possible (not having a science degree makes this slightly harder to accomplish).  All bacon was cooked in a 400 degree convection oven.  I replaced the aluminum foil on the baking sheet between each batch so as to not cross-contaminate.  Additionally, each batch was placed on fresh paper towels to absorb any excess bacon grease.  No paper towels were stacked.  We each ate one piece of bacon, then left the third piece of bacon so we could do a final showdown.  The single words to describe each bacon were gathered during the final showdown and are listed as "Overall Sentiment."

Bacon #1
Pre cook:

• Very sweet smoke smell
• On the thin side (I like thicker bacon)

Post cook:

• Cooked well for thin bacon
• Meat was hard and stringy
• Meat was also kinda dry
• VERY salty
• Tasted "cheap"

I wouldn't serve this to people I disliked.  This did remind me of a super greasy diner, where your 75-year-old smoking waitress could snap at any second and throw a full plate of bacon at you, scream obscenities, then storm our of the diner.  And you wouldn't even want to eat the free bacon.

Overall sentiment (Kristiana/Dave): Lame/Diner

Bacon #2:

Pre cook:

• Amazing smoky smell!
• Very reasonable thickness

Post cook:

• That is some F-Yea bacon
• Meat was very tender, was not stringy or tough
• Smokiness was awesome.
• If I think of home cured bacon from the 1800s, this is exactly what comes to mind
• Melted when it needed to

This bacon spoke to us.  It was one of those bacons that you could easily see yourself having a long-term committed relationship with.  Without hesitation.  The smokiness of it reminded me of the 1800s - it was literally like you whacked the pig and threw it up in the big smoker yourself.  Damn fine meat.

Overall sentiment: Manly/Bold

Bacon #3

Pre cook:

• Great thickness
• No smoky or sweet smell - weird

Post cook:

• Crispy parts were the most amazing parts!
• Slightly sweeter finish than #2
• No real smokiness to it

This bacon was OK.  I wouldn't write home about it, but if you served it to me, I certainly wouldn't throw a fit and flip a table over in disgust.

Overall sentiment: Standard/Standard

Bacon #4

Pre cook:

• This looked like bacon steak
• Not much smokiness smell, but had a sweeter smell

Post cook:

• the outside "skin" of the bacon made your mouth want more
• The fatty portions retained more salt than the meaty portions
• Meat was tender, but not as tender as #2.

This bacon was seriously a special occasion bacon.  It was so overwhelmingly delicious, between the crunchy outside texture of the piece coupled with the nice meatiness.  We almost didn't feel worthy.

Overall sentiment: Phenomenal/Amazing

Rankings unanimously go like this: 2, 4, 3, 1

The reason we picked 2 over 4 is that 4 was truly a "special occasion" bacon and we were looking for something we could enjoy every day.  Don't get me wrong, if a package of #4 showed up on my doorstep, I'd eat it immediately, but this may be an example where you can have too much of a good thing!